The hall of the slain
Welcome to Asgard's premiere destination, where only the whose who of dead vikings spend their days in paradise.
Sure, you could live a long life as a farmer. But where's the fun in that?
At Valhalla, we believe in dying young in the glorious throes of battle.
100% satisfaction guaranteed or we'll give you a free weapon of your choice.
Who we are
Odin
The big cheese around here. You ever heard of Gandalf? Odin is the OG Gandalf, if Gandalf also had two badass wolves and two shrewd-ass crows keeping him up to date on all the goings-on in Middle Earth. When not flying through the sky on an eight-legged horse like a baller, Odin enjoys having many sons, being in disguise, and leading the Wild Hunt. Just don't ask him about Fenrir.
Freyja
Co-big cheese with Odin, she gets first dibs over half of the souls that pass on up here. No one can out multi-task Freyja, who is simultaneously the goddess of love, sex, fertility, beauty, gold, war and death. She's basically Beyonce. In her spare time, Freyja loves crying tears of pure gold, riding around in her chariot pulled by cats, and avoiding the advances of gross demi-gods who have no concept of consent.
The Valkyrie
Ever wonder who chooses who gets to live and die in battle? Meet the Valkyries. If they decide you are lucky enough to be slaughted by your enemies, they will lead you to our gates. Once here, they will definitely bring you an endless supply of mead and also one may take you as her lover. Fingers crossed!
Experience Valhalla
In Valhalla, we've got nothing but sweet digs! No more crowded sod hut filled with pigs for you!
Yggdrasill is the mythical tree that connects the nine worlds. It's also a great spot for picnics.
This is just one of many stunning battlefields of the afterworld.
You're going to look fresh as heck in your complimentary custom helmet.
Don't let the dopey expression fool you. This is Heidrun, the magical goat who is constantly trying to eat all the magical trees. When milked, she produces all the mead that you're going to drink here. Don't think too much about that.
The perfect scenic spot to launch our fleet of longboats for our raiding parties. We throw one heck of a raiding party, let me tell you. Sometimes Loki DJs. But it's better when he doesn't.
This is the mythical stag Eikthyrnir, who lives atop the highest peak of Valhalla. He's also insatiable when it comes to eating the magical trees around here. We've never tried milking him and he probably hopes we never try.
We probably should have mentioned sooner that Ragnorok, the end of the world, is coming and you'll all going to need to fight (and probably die again, but for realsies this time) in the ensuing battle. But why get caught up on the details about it now. Have another mead!
